Archive for the Decisions Category

All the Broken Hearts “Welcome to My Life”

Posted in Decisions on April 15, 2009 by Meta

(This post is dedicated to a few friends of mine who face the same problem as I do. Now they are sick of their lives. Lately, I’ve seen them sitting and crying. I don’t think they are going to do drugs, but it is even worse to know that they want to end their lives. )

Things change, people change. It is disappointing, but don’t just kill yourselves. Things always go bad and worse, just don’t make it the worst. I’m begging you my friends. Let’s take another step forward with your destiny. My best friend said that life is not easy to get, but it’s easy to lose. Besides, you can die today and nothing’s going to change, but if you can live till tomorrow, something might change. In fact, it always does. Everything changes, only the change remains the same.

I know you want this thing, and it is all that you want, but things don’t always turn out your ways. Nothing’s falling into place. You’re feeling lost, I’m feeling lost too. Everyone out there knows how it feels too. You’re not the only ones who face this problem.

You have to think and re-think. Don’t just do something and don’t actually know what you are doing. You have to learn how to love your memory. It gives you good and bad feelings, but it is the only thing that you’ve got. Don’t give up your life. Even though this world is so cruel and unfair to you, it’s still beautiful. You have to learn how to live with this pain.

At this moment, you don’t need to question yourself about what and who you’re going to live for. You’re too busy to think of the answers.

 If you really think you can’t go on with this life, at least just sleep without doing anything for three days and three nights. You know the famous Iranian painter, Marjane Satrapi? She finally found her new live after a long night sleep.

 At least, you should think about what you want first because maybe it might give you inspiration. Like me for example, if I’m going to lose everything, I’ll still have my memory and I know what I want, and I want to do a lot of things before I think of dying.

I want to go to the Veronicas’ concert in Australia.

I want to do bungee jumping in Vienna, Austria because I want to feel the wind when I jump off the bridge.

I want to go to les Champs-Elysées to think about my ex.

I want to join La Fête de la Francophonie in my French school and sing a song called “Donne-moi le temps” to dedicate it to someone.

I want to visit la Cathédrale Notre-Dame to see what it is exactly and say to it, “C’est vraiment magnifique!”

I want to go to a Carnival in a small town in the U.S.

I want to walk along the way in Canada in autumn in a small village.

I want to rent a small space under Sakura trees in Japan for a picnic because I want to feel its flowers fall on my face while I’m eating sushi.

I want to work in Seoul for two years and eat kimchi and black noodle every evening in autumn under the trees.

I want to go to India to see behind the scenes of dancing Bollywood movies to see how directors arrange a lot of people to just dance and re-dance.

I want to go to Germany to find Mr. J, the man who broke my best friend’s heart and then tell him what a jerk he was.

I want to go back to Cambodia to see my childhood friend’s concert and after he sings, I’ll knock his head to make him realize what he had done to my skinny friend, Rotha.

I want to take a picture of Cleopatra’s mummy in Egypt.

I want to slap my brother twice for the way that he has wasted his 400$ salary every month on his 7 temporary girlfriends.

I want to give my mother some money to take care of my older sister who has been sick (mentally).

I want to buy my little sister a pair of shoes.

I want to pay my dad’s dept.

I have not done any of these things yet because I’m so busy with this damn life. Then it turned out to be nothing. So now that I have nothing, I’ve got nothing to lose. However, at least, I know what I want, and It makes me alive. It gives me hope.

There is one thing that you should always remember that you’re not the ones who face this problem, everyone faces this kind of problem and at least about 120 of us are in the same spot. If you kill yourself, you will become a bad example for us all.

Remember that Life is meaningful when you’ve found the reason to live.

This song is for you, my Friends.

“Welcome To My Life”

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
and no one understands you.

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming.

 No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life.

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

Lyric’s InFO: Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan

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Victims’ Voices Had Better be HEARD

Posted in Decisions on March 18, 2009 by Meta

 

My happiness was vanished in a blink of the eye. I was awakened and I felt like I was falling from the 30th floor of my dream castle. At the age of 18, I work as many jobs as a girl in my age could do. I was not supposed to quit my study if all of my older brothers didn’t do drugs. Nonetheless, as a younger sister, I couldn’t help keeping my eyes on the plight of my family situation.

Three of my older brothers  went to work in Thai’s border. At that time, drugs were not well known and familiar as today. Their boss provided them Yaba in due to make them work the hardest with the least food. Afterward, the impacts of drugs were growing so strong that they couldn’t resist staying there anymore. They came home with blue pale faces and they confessed the truth.

            All I want now is to be able to hug my brothers like before. I missed the past. I never thought the whole family would end up this way.”

In Cambodia, there is a radio FM 102 HZ which has had a program about drugs issue. That station has been opened for everyone to call in and share their life stories about drugs. One of my friend listened to the radio station a few years ago, and she heard about the girl’s story above, and I heard this story from my friend.

To be honest, people like my family including me never actually listen to the radio about this kind of issue and I bet a lot of people are indifferent about it too. So then what? How can the problem be solved when not enough people listen to the victims’ voices even in broadcast?

The Victims’ VOICES must be HEARD.

What Would You Do When You Realized Your Boy Friend IS a Drug Addict?

Posted in Decisions on March 8, 2009 by Meta

Generally, at the same time that you know what your boy friend has been doing when you’re not around him, you might know what’s going to happen to you when you’re around him. As the quote that people like to say, “What can go wrong will go wrong.

It’s true that it’s not easy to pull yourself back when you’re lost in love with someone once you just realized that he is a drug addict. However, you need to know that it is risky to be with him because he’s not who you think he is. His body and mind are out of control.

Darius Rejali writes, Drug can make one sick, chatty, relaxed, addicted, giddy, forgetful, restless, anxious, sleepy, sluggish, unconscious, incapacitated, uncomfortable, or dead.[1]

            Therefore, too many feelings are enough to lose oneself. As we all know, it’s hard to have two feelings at the same time, not even think about those feelings which are given by drugs. There are too much works at a moment because those feelings are fighting in the whole body and brain.

Then how can you expect an addict to stay cool while those feelings are struggling inside him? Of course, he won’t be able to keep himself from going wild. Thus, you should try not to be with him alone if you don’t want to face disasters. It’s better to stay away rather than try to control him. It’s a bad idea if you think that you’re a god mother who can stop a hungry tiger from eating a visible dear.

If you love him, tell him that you do love him but not a drug addict. You need to choose to tell him to choose between you or drug. Typically, he doesn’t want to lose you, but he’s afraid of being without drug too. If he wouldn’t stop then you need to stop the relationship because sooner or later you’ll find out that it’s not worth loving a guy who loves drugs more than you.

Remember that you do not need a man who can’t control himself from committing violation because you might be one of his cases one way or another.

[1] Darius Rejali, Torture and Democracy (United State of America: Princeton University Press, 2007), 390.