Archive for September, 2009

“Living. Dying. Run.”

Posted in Solutions on September 26, 2009 by Meta

I Wish The Sun Wouldn't Shine

             This is one of the short stories I’ve written for my Zines. My friends said they love them. I am proud to have written them. Thanks to my writing mentor, my writing pusher, and my editor. I’d never loved my writing until they said they loved it.Sunny


             Picture’s InFO: Sunny Cover

             Anyway, I was in a book store. I saw a book; it looked like a French Carnival girl to me, but the three words, Living. Dying. Run, on the cover pushed me to pick it up. I opened the book and read the first day of Sunny – The California Diaries by Ann. M. Martin.



Living. Dying.Run.

No further question to myself. I just bought it.


             It’s not relevant to think that it’s better to feel like I’m not the only one who feels worse about my life. Wouldn’t it be better to know there’s someone else who is suffering the same pain as yours? As I said, it’s not a good idea, it’s selfish, but having someone understand what you’re feeling is just the right medicine for your pain to heal.

             I write a lot of dark stories which connected to my feelings. Even though the book is a fiction, it shows me the real pain of the character, and I felt better after reading it.

             One of my friends who used to be an addict said that he did it because he couldn’t handle his depression. It seemed to him that everybody else was having a better life.

              My goody-goody friend who is a suicidal asked herself why wouldn’t she have a normal life and make normal mistakes like others.

             A lot of teens would feel the same way about these points. They may ask the same questions, “why wouldn’t anybody understand me?”, “why can’t I be okay like others?

             Maybe, reading books, listening to music, or watching movies can make you feel better; they give you inspiration. Do not say that your life is not a movie because some parts of the books, music, or movies are about your life. These are the expression of how people feel or what people would do. These things are made to communicate with you; they are made to be connected with you so that you’d like them and you get good and bad experiences from them.

             Most of them are made to inspire you, to make you think of your life better in many ways. People are not the same, and that’s the reason why these books, music, movies, or paintings are created differently to match each of your interest –  to inspire you, to make you feel better.

             One thing that I always tell myself when I’m stressed out is “if you’re lost, go find inspiration to find your way.” Then I read books, listen to music, watching movies, or look at some paintings to find myself the connection that I need to build my soul.

             Stay off drugs, fellows. Think of a better way to live in the real world.


Drugs Make Your Life Become the Meaning of One Word – RUINED

Posted in Causes/Effects on September 15, 2009 by Meta

             Reading Mr. James Frey’s work is surprising. The book came to me from nowhere, and it ended up in front of me. So I read it.A million-little-pieces

Image’s Info: A Million Little Pieces

             A Million Little Pieces is a scary book to be related to the author’s situation. I made many stupid faces while reading it. It was a good book for addicts and sobers. Although some parts of it are exaggerated a bit or a lot, the book does show how it feels to be an addict. People say, “It’s easy said than done.” Knowing something is difficult is not the same thing as feeling something is difficult.

             He, Mr. Frey, proves that this saying is true enough. One more thing is that, “Prevention is better than cured.” Through his book, A Million Little Pieces, he shows how damaged a person at his age could be done to himself. He shows how being an addict destroys everything he used to have.

             Drug & Alcohol give you intrepid feelings. It makes you think of nothing but being full of confident to destroy and kill. After a while, when you’re addicted, you’re scared of everything around you more than you ever feel. It makes you scared to be yourself, and it makes you feel like you’ve got to shoot drug to calm yourself down. It makes you feel whatever you don’t want to feel, but whatever you body wants to feel.You can’t stay sober because you’re scared of being off drug. You tell yourself you just can’t because without it your heart beat faster, you’re out of breath.

             Even if you’re clean, you still think of doing it again everytime, no matter while you’re asleep or awake. At least a year or two after you quit, you start to feel like you can survive without it again. Therefore, you should understand that drug is not what you want because what it gives you is whatever you don’t want to get.

             You can actually ignore your problems when you’re high, but don’t forget that those problems of yours are still there for you. They are never going to be solved because of the fact that you are ignoring them. They won’t go away unless you face them, fight them off your back, and put them out of your face.

             Doing drug is just to make your life worse. When life is everything you want it to be, don’t let drug makes your life become the meaning of one word, which is RUINED.

Vegetable and Meat Moments

Posted in Solutions on September 8, 2009 by Meta

            Do NOT let drugs shut your brain and your heart down.

            Try to be positive for your life and what you are living for. Today, I’ve got an example about living in good and bad moments of life.

Image’s Info: BBQ

             Well, let start with this one: Life is like a plate full of meat and vegetable. For me, Vegetable looks fresh, but Meat tastes good. This definition is only for some people like me, the type of people who like meat and hate eating vegetables.

            My parents always told me to finish the food before I cleaned the plate. Most of the time, I demanded not to eat vegetables because it tasted funny to me. Plus, I felt miserable everytime I ate it. However, my mom told me that it was good for health; it could help me to keep living in a good condition.Yuck 

            Life is somehow like that. When nothing makes sense, you get confused, and you can’t see if there’s any meat left for the rest of your life. Vegetable, there are always vegetable moments to experience again and again. So, you want to quit tasting bad things when you think you can’t handle them anymore.

Photo’s Infor: Yuck Vegetables

             It’s not what you need to do. Everything has both sides. You don’t like a vegetable life, but you will get a disease if you eat too much meat. That’s the reason why you need vegetables for your body to balance.

            Just like your life, literally. You can’t just laugh 24/7. You’ll be crazy since there’s nothing to worry about. You’ll be confused when life is easy. You’ll be overwhelming when life is just another moment to be laughing. Therefore, people like me should be open and positive to vegetable moments. (Ah… that’s what I hate the most about food, but that’s what makes the meat become more delicious to me.)

Eating VegetableImage’s Info: Eating Vegetables

            What I’m trying to say is we should be open to our problems to be stronger; we should be open to sadness to be able to laugh harder. You know what, when you know nothing about sadness, you don’t know when you’re supposed to be happy. If you’ve never been in the darkness, you wouldn’t know what the meaning of sunlight is.

            One more thing for the type people like me: eat both meat and vegetable, literally and figuratively. Remember to finish the food before you clean the plate.” Don’t forget to enjoy every bite of your food. Don’t waste it and don’t quit eating.

            Stay sober, be stronger, and don’t forget to laugh harder because that’s what life is worth living for.

Go For It!

Posted in Solutions on September 4, 2009 by Meta

             My previous post is pretty much about depression. We all know what it is and how it affects us. Now I’ve got something for all the depressed people to think of live positively. Well, at least the book helps you to not think of yourself as a big Loser in the world. Read GO FOR IT! By Dr. Irene C. Kassorla. It’s about how to win at love, work, and play how to think of your life differently. She’s a psychologist, and she knows how to give advice.

             Some people might not agree to read something bright or positive. Trust me; I know how it feels to be depressed. I used to be a very negative person. Everything that I thought or saw was dark and death. It was pretty much sad and it sucked, but things change, people change. Time can heal your brain after all, and it will make you think of something you should do to brighten yourself instead of just being in the darkness in order to make everyone else feels guilty about you living in the shadow.

             Now let’s read it!

Friday 7th August 2009

Posted in Causes/Effects on September 2, 2009 by Meta

Suicidal Letter - 1

Suicidal Letter - 2

This is a sample of suicidal letters. It’s written by the one I really love – still alive, and edited by me. I don’t know if drug attempters could have any pieces of writing like this. Nonetheless, there should be places for them to recover from depression.