Attempt is an Addiction

              I spent my vacation in Cambodia. It was worse than what I expected, but I prepared for it to happen anyway. So it’s better when something is predictable.

              One thing that I want to put in is about “Teen Attempter.” It could be suicide attempters or drug attempters. Both are almost similar cases, except for one difference that suicide attempters throw awayonly their futures, but drug attempters could blow up other’s as well.

Photo’s InFO: Feeling Alone

Feeling Alone

              You might as well do not want to believe that I’m in a category of teen suicidal. I used to feel it, the need of being out of my life, growing stronger. I was so sick of my life, but then I’ve got a solution to that. I just need to get a life. Sometimes I believe that the longer I live, the longer want to stay alive. I know it’s easier said than done, but after all, I realized that if I always get what I’m asking for, then what is the meaning of it?

              Sometimes I thanked my father for the fact that he never gave what I asked for because then I have come to know how to get what I want by myself, and it is much better. It means more to me. Life is meaningful only when it’s painful and you still survive it. If you were born to be a person with everything, without pain, your life means nothing at all. Just die the day you were born.

              I’m surprised when I get to know that my best friend in Cambodia is in that list too. The second time we met during my vacation there, she asked me, “How often did you want to kill yourself?”



              “Well, I didn’t want to kill myself, but didn’t hesitate to be killed.”

              “So, how often did you want to die?”

              “Uh…everyday, I guess.”

              Then we busted out laughing about 2 minutes. It was kind of funny when best friends’ talk is about suicidal and as it turned out, we’re not very different at all.

              Well then I said, “You know, the second I got closer to death, I just wanted to breathe. Whenever I felt like a trip or a thing is going to kill me, I’ve found the way to protect my life, a way to just keep on breathing.”

              “That’s not uncommon! I’ve read a book about teen suicidal and there’s a teenage girl who cringed when she saw or heard about suicide, but later, she took pain killer pills a whole bottle. It was too much for her to handle. She said she couldn’t do anything about death or life at that time. She wanted to take the pain away.” She explainedSuicide.

              Then I told her about another girl story, “Yeah, there’s a girl who took rats’ pill. She said if she knew that committing suicide was that hard, she wouldn’t have killed herself.”

Image’s InFO: Suicide

              My best friend cringed when she heard the story.

              “I know, she died once, that’s what I meant.”

              She made her face even more like a do-you-even-notice-what-you’re-saying look. I was like, “it was in a magazine. The girl sort of remembers her past life. She was around 6 years old when she was interviewed!”

              Then I gave up convincing her. “Alright, what do you have to say earlier?”

              Then she explained that teenagers are attempters, but adults are the completers. However, adults rarely commit suicide because the longer they live, the longer they get used to being alive. They, most of the adults, can handle their lives pretty well. Nonetheless, the more a person is attempting to do one thing, whether killing themselves or doing drug, or buying weapons, the closer that person get to do it completely.Depression

Pic’s InFO: Depression

               Attempt is like an addiction. Once you want to do it, you just want it to be done. Therefore, do not PUSH attempters to do what they attempt to do. It’s a really bad idea.

              After all we need counselors for teen attempters. For example, in the US, there are social services for people who attempt to commit suicide. Most of the times, the moment people want to end their lives, they call the number, and in some ways, they are convinced that live is worth living for.Teen Suicide

Image’s InFo: Teen Suicide

              Some attempters who are in the suicidal committee, they get yellow cards which are the symbol of committing suicide. So when they really want to do it, they just show others the yellow cards. It means, instead of saying I want to kill myself right now, it’s easier to just hand the cards over to somebody. And most likely, they are saved and supported by the ones who are given or shown the cards.

              I think this is the best way to save their lives in time, for now. So for drug attempters, there should have some programs like this one. Like a saying, “Prevent is better than Cured.”

              Anymore information about suicide and solution, please go to the website


18 Responses to “Attempt is an Addiction”

  1. Sovathary Says:

    Bravo, mate! It’s so touchy to read all of these, I’m glad you actually listened about suicidal stuff, I thought you’ve forgotten it since. Well of course, every discussion has to be funny all the time for us. Even about committing suicide, right?

    Yes, I was one of the teen attempters, but not anymore though, I’m an adult now, so I’m going to be a completer! Yike!…Just kidding.

    PS: I read ur BBC too, it is brilliant! No wonder why everyone is so proud of you. Me too!

  2. Thanks, mate!

    You’ve been a good buddy to me, and I’m very proud of you too.

  3. All this information is true and around here at my school and everywhere really, kids look lonely and ill talk to them but its hard because really i want to start to be there friend and everything but idk how too. The movie To Save A Life was by far the best film i have seen in my life.
    Im a 16 year old girl a sophmore in highschool who has been in a car accident when i was 12 and now people dont see me at all. I always want to commit suicide i guess its because people never take the time listen to what i have to say and at home, well im ignored there and my family wouldnt know i was gone either. Life for me just sucks. Most people say its just a phase your going through because your a teenager and thats what teenagers do. But they dont get it. I just wish someone would hear me and listen to what i have to say and have me be included in activites and have people know my name. I am deffinately invisible no doubt about that. Again thanks to the movie To Save a Life. If anymore would like to be my friend or get to hear me out please. =[


  4. Hi there,

    I’ve watched a lot of movies and there is name to call those types of teenagers, the “nobody.”

    They tend to keep themselves to their own. Generally, this is a way to protect them from being hurt mentally and sometimes physically. They are pretty much described as depressed teens. For them, the more open they are, the more vulnerable they are. So if you want to be friend with them, you need a lot of efforts to make them feel comfortable around you.

    There are steps to get to know them. First, you need to show them that you are not trying to judge them or change them. You need to be neutral – not so close and not very open, just be available and helpful sometimes. Show them that you already accept who they are and you are not trying to use them in any purpose or try to make fun of them because they would know that.

    Just because they don’t talk out loud, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a voice. Second, sometimes you need to talk to them – literally talk to them. At first, they will feel annoyed because they are not used to spending time with or for strangers. There might be conflicts, but then they will get used to your talking. Share your stories and feelings. You might be offended if the “nobody” that you talk to is always work individual.

    Third, you need to make the first impression. Do something that shows who you really are so that they will know that you don’t fake your emotions around them. I believe they hate liars and cons. You have to feel comfortable being yourself before allowing yourself to feel comfortable being around them in order to make them feel comfortable around you.

    I know it’s a lot of effort, but if you have them, you have a best and close friend. Most of them are real and also broken. You know what I mean.

    I’m not sure how “invisible” you are, but all you need is confident. You need to accept who you are before you realize what you are lack of. When you figure out your weakness, it’s up to you to improve. If you’re not invisible to yourself, people don’t matter to you. If you are proud of who you are, you’re not invisible anymore.

    I think what you really need is a really good friend to kind of be there for you. That is what I think. If it’s not true, it’s ok. Do you have a best friend? If you do, use your friend, share your feelings, let your stories out and you’ll feel less heavy. If you don’t, find the one who you think you’re feel comfortable around him/her and be with him/her.

    You had a car accident when you were 12? Well, I had a motorbike accident when I was 11 and I broke my collarbone and my dad yelled at me that it’d be great if I were dead because then he didn’t pay for the medication and all the operations’ sessions.

    Mostly, kids are ignored. Not all the kids, just kids like you and me. I used to tell my parents some solutions sometimes when I was 14 or below that and they told me to shut up and they said they didn’t want my opinion. So I quit talking in the house about a year. You know I used to be very talkative, but now I’m the super introvert. I don’t know if telling you my story make you feel any better, but I just want to show you that kids like us have experience similar situation and we are related somehow.

    If people don’t listen to you, talk to me. I’m happy to hear from you. I might not be a very good friend to you, but I promise I’ll be the listener.

    People are right about the thing that it’s just a phase you’re going through. Most of the time it is, but they don’t realize that even though people have been through the same situation, they have different experiences through their different outlook. That’s what my psychology’s Professor taught me. Besides, people don’t always think the same thing, they have their particular attitude, they have their own way of observing things. For instance, a bomb treat can be overwhelming for a lot of people, but it can be exciting for a bunch of people. It’s how they think of things.

    Anyway, you might need to start by telling people your real name instead of let them think of you as an invisible. I hope what I’ve told you is helpful in a way that make you feel better – I don’t mean to offend you in anyway.

    I hope to hearing from you.

  5. Thank you! even just by telling you how i feel it made. making me feel better =]
    thanks again. and yes I do have a bestfriend we share our feelings all the time just because we are so much alike and are going through the same situations as in family related not by disablity. The disability situation is getting worse really =[ thats the part im still working on and still in prgress on talking/ speaking up more.

  6. Hey Kaylynn,

    Good to hear that you’re getting better. You should be proud of yourself.
    I’m glad my writing makes you feel better. Oh, you didn’t mention, but that’s okay.
    You’re getting better! That’s the point.

    I hope you’ll find a way to deal with the disability situation.
    Tell me if you need anything.


  7. Hey,

    Me too! and thanxs for taking the time to actually listen to me. Its funny how sometimes talking to a “stranger” can make someone feel better but anyways thanxs again and if you dont mind I’ll keep writing you.

  8. Well, to be honest, I don’t feel that you are a “stranger” to me – not until I see a face I don’t know in front of me. Know what I mean, right?

    It’s good to have you writing to me. It Makes ME feel better too, having someone to talk to, someone new to me.

    Keep on your good intention!


  9. ha yeah i know what you mean im the same way.

    well good then in that case we can keep making eachother feel better about whatever it is that we need to feel better about =]

  10. Good to hear that.

    Should I start first about the thing that I feel good about?
    I think I’m going to pass my first year undergraduate. He-he.
    Sounds dump, right? I know, but it’s something to smile about.

  11. Ha nah that doesnt sound dump at all
    good job =]

  12. Thanks!

    Hey, you know today I just watched a classic chinese movie about girls dicriminate against boys and they sell boys for money. Boys are slave! Can you imagine how funny it is?

    Unfortunately, I have it in Cambodian language not in english. Otherwise, I’d send you.

  13. Welcomee!

    I did not know that..thats interesting. And ha yeah kinda funnay

    Oh darn (snaps fingers)–>sarcastic lol

  14. I know, right?

    That’s so awkward. There’s a scene a girl warrior says, “why do I listen to you? I don’t take other from a man!” and she walks out on him.

    And you know who are the cast? Jacky chan, his son, Donnie Yen, the twin effects…all pretty famous actors and actresses! Gosh…it’s so funny when Donnie Yen has to act like a revolutionary in the film! “GO boys, it’s our time to get our indepence!”

  15. Yeahh!

    haha that would be awkward.

    Jackie chan is a good actor hes in like a ton of movies. Haha thats funny

    I watched my fav movie lastnight! its “A Walk to Remember”

  16. A walk to remember? Yeah, I know that movie. It’s good.
    I like how the man is so concern about her happiness.
    You know what could get your mouth open about the man?
    Watch “Get over it.” You’ll know what I mean.

  17. Ha I’ll just have to watch that one. I’ve never seen it.

  18. Yeah, do watch it and tell me what you think about him.

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