Attempt is an Addiction
I spent my vacation in Cambodia. It was worse than what I expected, but I prepared for it to happen anyway. So it’s better when something is predictable.
One thing that I want to put in is about “Teen Attempter.” It could be suicide attempters or drug attempters. Both are almost similar cases, except for one difference that suicide attempters throw awayonly their futures, but drug attempters could blow up other’s as well.
You might as well do not want to believe that I’m in a category of teen suicidal. I used to feel it, the need of being out of my life, growing stronger. I was so sick of my life, but then I’ve got a solution to that. I just need to get a life. Sometimes I believe that the longer I live, the longer want to stay alive. I know it’s easier said than done, but after all, I realized that if I always get what I’m asking for, then what is the meaning of it?
Sometimes I thanked my father for the fact that he never gave what I asked for because then I have come to know how to get what I want by myself, and it is much better. It means more to me. Life is meaningful only when it’s painful and you still survive it. If you were born to be a person with everything, without pain, your life means nothing at all. Just die the day you were born.
I’m surprised when I get to know that my best friend in Cambodia is in that list too. The second time we met during my vacation there, she asked me, “How often did you want to kill yourself?”
“Well, I didn’t want to kill myself, but didn’t hesitate to be killed.”
“So, how often did you want to die?”
“Uh…everyday, I guess.”
Then we busted out laughing about 2 minutes. It was kind of funny when best friends’ talk is about suicidal and as it turned out, we’re not very different at all.
Well then I said, “You know, the second I got closer to death, I just wanted to breathe. Whenever I felt like a trip or a thing is going to kill me, I’ve found the way to protect my life, a way to just keep on breathing.”
“That’s not uncommon! I’ve read a book about teen suicidal and there’s a teenage girl who cringed when she saw or heard about suicide, but later, she took pain killer pills a whole bottle. It was too much for her to handle. She said she couldn’t do anything about death or life at that time. She wanted to take the pain away.” She explained.
Then I told her about another girl story, “Yeah, there’s a girl who took rats’ pill. She said if she knew that committing suicide was that hard, she wouldn’t have killed herself.”
My best friend cringed when she heard the story.
“I know, she died once, that’s what I meant.”
She made her face even more like a do-you-even-notice-what-you’re-saying look. I was like, “it was in a magazine. The girl sort of remembers her past life. She was around 6 years old when she was interviewed!”
Then I gave up convincing her. “Alright, what do you have to say earlier?”
Then she explained that teenagers are attempters, but adults are the completers. However, adults rarely commit suicide because the longer they live, the longer they get used to being alive. They, most of the adults, can handle their lives pretty well. Nonetheless, the more a person is attempting to do one thing, whether killing themselves or doing drug, or buying weapons, the closer that person get to do it completely.
Attempt is like an addiction. Once you want to do it, you just want it to be done. Therefore, do not PUSH attempters to do what they attempt to do. It’s a really bad idea.
After all we need counselors for teen attempters. For example, in the US, there are social services for people who attempt to commit suicide. Most of the times, the moment people want to end their lives, they call the number, and in some ways, they are convinced that live is worth living for.
Some attempters who are in the suicidal committee, they get yellow cards which are the symbol of committing suicide. So when they really want to do it, they just show others the yellow cards. It means, instead of saying I want to kill myself right now, it’s easier to just hand the cards over to somebody. And most likely, they are saved and supported by the ones who are given or shown the cards.
I think this is the best way to save their lives in time, for now. So for drug attempters, there should have some programs like this one. Like a saying, “Prevent is better than Cured.”
Anymore information about suicide and solution, please go to the website http://suicidal.com/.